God's Comfort in Our Times of Grief
I cry out to God;
I call to God, and he will hear me.
I look for the Lord on the day of trouble.
All night long I reach out my hands,
but I cannot be comforted.
When I remember God, I become upset;
when I think, I become afraid.
(Psalm 77: 1-3)
I remember what the Lord did;
I remember the miracles you did long ago.
I think about all the things you did
and consider your deeds.
(Psalm 77: 11, 12)
I am writing today with a heavy heart and a great sense of loss. My heart is overwhelmed with grief. My most favourite and regular reader of this blog will no more read this, and that reader is my beloved father Late. Mr. Daniel Gnanasothy Veerasingam. A call from home came in the early hours of Friday 27 November 2020 carrying the heartbreaking news of my Appa's sad demise. I had to face the most tragic and painful day of my life yesterday, 28th Saturday, as I watched my father's funeral service and the burial from thousands of miles away from home. I couldn't reach home to wave goodbye to my Appa in person due to the COVID-19 travel restrictions in my homeland Sri Lanka.
Being the only child and unable to stand by my mother at this time of unexplainable grief was a life-changing event in my life. I felt like I had seen the depths and the heights of grief. Though there may be many people in this world who would have come across similar circumstances, this was the biggest blow my heart ever had to accept. I waved goodbye to my beloved father while I tried to kiss and touch the screens of my laptops and mobile phone to feel my father's body for the last time. I wish no one, ever, goes through such a painful moment. As I tried to digest this heavy news that I received on Friday early morning, I couldn't help but run to fetch my wallet and to take out the little photo of my father that I always carried with me. With tears flooding out of my blurred eyes and the beats of my heart increasing, I couldn't accept the reality that I will never again get to see those eyes. I cried "Appa.. Appa.." like a little baby expecting the photograph to respond to me. I knew that it was going to be the hardest of my days. And, the only thing I asked was "God, please carry me in your arms, I am sure I can't handle this alone!"
The first thing that I told to my grieving Mother when I got to speak to her after receiving the news was this... "Amma... Appa had lived a life of blessing! Let us remember the great things that the Lord has done and be thankful to Him!" And that was the moment from when I felt God's precious comfort slowly beginning to fill my heart. Even though there were moments of loud shouts and agony when I kept realising that I will never get to see my Appa again in my life, every time I felt God's comforting hands hugging me tightly and bringing me back to normal.
Well, this was also what my father always taught me! To be thankful for the blessings even in the midst of losses. To remember the good things that the Lord has blessed us with even in times of sorrow. I never needed a separate person as my spiritual father, because my father was everything to me. Right from being a good and honest friend to being my spiritual guide and teacher, my father was there in all the parts of my life. My accidental early morning wake-ups as a school-going child have always witnessed him knelt down in prayer in his room. He was a servant of God who had daily early morning conversations with God - a spiritual standard that I still struggle to maintain. My mother told me recently that even in his last twenty days of intensive care in the hospital with ventilators, wires and tubes in and around him, the first thing that he had asked the nursing officers when he was momentarily relaxed from his few days of sedation was, "I need to pray!" Even though my heart and fingers tremble as I write this line, I am sure, today, right now, Appa will be praising the Almighty God our Father in heaven in His glorious presence!
This is what I learned about God's comfort in the last two hardest days of my life that I had just passed. Just as Psalm 77 says, we must learn to find God's comfort in times of grief, trouble and pain by remembering and being thankful to what we had received in the past. This is what the Psalmist did when he was in times of overwhelming grief with no comfort. The Psalmist says, "I remember what the Lord did; I remember the miracles you did long ago. I think about all the things you did and consider your deeds" (Psalm 77: 11, 12). We could see that the Psalmist found solace and comfort in the midst of his grief and trouble by remembering what the Lord had done in the past. The remembrance of God's deeds in times of grief strengthens us spiritually that we could become assured of His love and the hope that we find in Him. For the last two days, in the midst of my overwhelming grief, as I continued to remember and acknowledge the great things that God had done in my father's life and through his life to us, I felt God's comfort that surrounded me with the assurance I found in Him. Let us learn to come to God in times of overwhelming grief and remember to acknowledge the love and grace we have been receiving from Him in abundance. The remembrance will build in us the confidence that we have in Him. And that will lead us towards God's comfort which assures us His eternal love.
I pray that the blessings of God the Father, the love and grace of Christ Jesus the Son and the presence and guidance of the Holy Spirit be with all of us and guide us towards finding God's comfort as we continue to remember the great things He has done in our lives.
May God bless you.
Yours in Christ,
"Be still my soul" by Kari Jobe
