Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak and Slow to Become Angry

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak and Slow to Become Angry

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

(James 1: 19, 20)

Anger is an emotion that we are all challenged with. Anger is characterized by "antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong" (APA). There is an active hostility or opposition towards the other. And the feeling is intense when we feel that the person who has done us wrong has consciously or intentionally done this. It is so natural that as human beings we tend to become angry at such realisations. There are also suggestions that anger can be good as a way of expressing negative feelings or a motivation to find solutions to problems. But what does the verse we have taken for today's meditation remind us of? A different idea of anger.

In James 1: 19, 20 we are reminded of our self-control over the emotion of anger. We are reminded that as God's children, we are called to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Three parts of the action and only one part to be quick - to listen. The other two - our response and our anger, are to be slow. Contrary to what is expected in a Christian, we find ourselves to be on the just opposite; the very reverse of what is expected. We frequently find ourselves enraged and hurting those around us when we are slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to become angry. And that is why these definite lines are drawn for a Christian. By the time we give ample time to listen to someone, find and collect the right words to address the issue, we have rectified ourselves with the right views and empathy on the person or the thing that could have caused us to become angry.

Human anger has also got some serious damage to do to the very purpose that God has created us in this world. Right from the beginning that man and woman were created, God has been maintaining a relationship with us. And this relationship has always been defined and nurtured by love. God's love was and is and will be at the centre of creation and the true relationship He has with humans. We, being defined by the same love through the image of God that is reflected in us, are called to be living this life with love. That's one of the main purposes for which we were created; to love. And loving one another is an important part of the righteousness that God desires.

Even though, in general terms, righteousness would mean the quality of being morally correct and justifiable, it takes several steps ahead when a Christian begins to understand the same through the lens of Christian living. To put it more clearly, for a Christian, righteousness is the quality of being right in the eyes of God, including our character (nature), our conscience (attitude), our conduct (action), and command (word). And it is important that we live a life, led by God, and try our best in every part of our lives to be right before the Lord. It is with this in my that our approach towards anger could be. Is there a separate "Christian anger" for Christians? No. It is the same emotion that any human being could come across when they feel disappointed with someone or something, especially when it is done deliberately. God's word for us comes in the midst of this strong emotion and teaches us to first listen. We are called to be quick to listen. Know what has happened. Know what was the reason behind it. And then to slowly speak our feelings in words. In this way, even in the midst of overwhelming emotions, we have ourselves bound by the love and care to listen and to speak. And that keeps our nature, attitude, action and word within the bounds of the love of Christ Jesus.

A piece of advice that I receive from my mother is to count up to ten silently whenever I feel that I am overwhelmed with anger. I have always had her advice not to speak when I am experiencing anger at its peak. I have failed many times and have exploded. But a few times I have learned to first express my love towards the person whom I am angry with. It is not at all easy; probably we all know it by experience. But every time I follow this important advice, I am able to respond in a different way. Probably my mother knew it well. And this is the call that the love of God gives us. James 1: 20 reminds us that "human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." And it is important that we remember that we are fragile, weak, brittle and delicate human beings with all different emotions packed within us. Among them, it is vital for us to keep in mind that with our human weaknesses we may tend to hurt and break someone when we do not abide by what the Lord expects from us. Surely the uncontrollable human anger may lead us into a situation of failure in our spiritual lives where we fail to produce the righteousness that God desires.

I pray that God will help us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, so that we may be true followers and believers of Christ Jesus who are ready to take up the suffering, continue to reflect the image of God in us and to bear fruit by allowing God to guide in potential times of overwhelming anger. It is so complex and difficult. But there is nothing impossible with God. Let us ask the Lord to help us to be what He wants out of our lives. May we continue to be a blessing to those around us. May the power and blessings of God the Father, the love and grace of Christ Jesus the Son, the fellowship and guidance of the Holy Spirit, be with us and help as we continue to prioritise Christ's love over any other overwhelming emotions in our lives.

May God bless you.

Yours in Christ,